I fell in love with Sharon Osbourne when she was fat and relatively unknown. I fell in love with her when, in defending her husband on the Howard Stern Show, she threatened to beat the living shit (I assume that was the word due to the bleep injected) out of BOTH members of the Insane Clown Posse.

Here is this old, short, fat woman who is so in love with her husband that she is shooting fire from her soul because they DARED defame him. I knew little about her other than she had been with Ozzy forever and a day and well - she had balls.

Years later, much of the world fell in love with Sharon and the rest of the Osbourne clan. It was hard hearing people who couldn't name a song that he wrote, let alone like him musically as I did, say how cool he was. Ozzy was taboo. Now the world loved him. They fell in love with his family and their antics. Sharon was crowned one of the most beautiful people in America by People Magazine, foul mouthed, obscene, full of laughter and love for her family. When we covered Ozz Fest this summer, I wished for the chance to meet Sharon and tell her, "Hey broad, I wish I had balls as big as yours!" Sharon would get the broad. She would understand it was a compliment. But alas, it didn't happen.

When I heard she'd written a book, lets just say I RAN to the store and picked it up. Couldn't wait for shipping.

What I learned is Sharon, in fact, is a hard as nails broad who loves her family more than life itself. I still can't for the life of me understand why she forgave her father. I wouldn't have. I can't believe she forgave Ozzy. I know I wouldn't have. But she also gave him back as good as he did. One of the things I learned from her book is that my mantra in life is good. "Fuck em if they can't take a joke." Sharon has lived her life on those terms.

I knew the book was supposed to be Sharon's story and nothing more. I thought, however, I would hear more Ozzy. Yeah, there is a lot Ozzy, but this is truly her story. Her start as a child in a very unconventional household, where love was bought and then taken away. Verbal abuse and an emotional wasteland. Her start in the music industry as a woman in a time where women were not in charge of things. The way her father used both Sharon and her brother and, well, everyone who came near him to advance himself, rather than give a hoot about family. She took her lumps and moved on, not lingering on the past other than to learn from the mistakes. Yes, she had a hard life, but damned if I could find a single note of regret. I found another thing in common with her. Yeah you are going to make mistakes, shit is going to happen, but don't regret it. Move on. Start again.

This was the first book in a long time that actually had me laughing out loud. It covers her birth in England to present day, with flashes to her preparations for Ozzy's first anniversary of sobriety in present time. She takes you through the sordid history with her father, his ties with the mob, betrayal by her family, her struggles with her weight, her relationship with Ozzy and their children, and through her cancer. And she is very honest. This isn't a warm and fuzzy life, but it is hers, out there for all to see.

Being a fan of Ozzy made me feel close to the story. A lot of what she was talking about, I knew or knew of. I remembered the bat, the dove, Randy's death, her almost murder, the million trips to rehab. I remember it all. But I remembered it from Ozzy's side. I remembered what the press released. I also didn't realize how involved she was with band management. Some of the names both she and her father worked with were impressive to say the least.

I was enthralled with the entire story, to the point where sleep has been minimal. Staying up until I couldn't see the words, getting up early just to finish. It took me a day and a half. My only regret is the book was too short.

I can't say enough good about this book. If you want to spend a few days alone with a woman who is full of love and laughter, and has a great big pair of grapefruits, get this book. You won't regret it.